LISTENING DIFFERENTLY: WHAT TODAY'S FAMILIES ARE REALLY TELLING US

We hear it all the time: “Data is changing everything.”

But in reality, it’s not the data itself that’s revolutionary— it’s access to it.

Just think about how much information your smartwatch can track about a daily walk or run. The business world is no different. What was once the exclusive domain of executives in boardrooms and corporate headquarters is now readily available to everyday professionals—including those of us working in funeral homes, crematories, and cemeteries.

With that access comes an important question: Now that I have all this data, what should I do with it? And just as importantly, is it worth the time to analyze it?

To understand why data matters now more than ever, it helps to think back to all the online shopping we did this past holiday season.

Most of us have purchased the exact same products from multiple retailers. The item doesn’t change—but the experience does. What separates a retailer you return to from one you never use again often has little to do with price, and more to do with how easy the experience was. 

How many of us had to order white elephant gifts for a work function, or maybe heading to a friend’s house for the holidays? How easy was it to search for and order those gifts sitting in your pajamas over a cup of coffee and have them land on your doorstep 48 hours later? Leading e-commerce companies rely heavily on customer feedback and behavioral data to understand where shoppers get stuck, abandon their carts, or lose confidence. They analyze how consumers search, what questions they ask, and where friction occurs in the buying process. When something goes wrong—late delivery, damaged product, unclear instructions—successful retailers respond quickly and visibly.

From a consumer perspective, the goal is convenience. From a business perspective, the goal is trust, repeat business, and advocacy. Data doesn’t replace human judgment—it sharpens it.

The same dynamic exists in funeral service. Families may begin with similar needs, but their advocacy is shaped by how clearly information is communicated, how issues are handled, and how supported they feel throughout the process.

At Fortitude Research and Marketing, we’ve analyzed tens of thousands of consumer interactions across funeral homes, crematories, and cemeteries. When we listen carefully to what families are telling us, several clear patterns emerge.

THE NEW ADVOCACY CURVE — WHY GOOD ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH

One of the simplest ways to measure customer satisfaction is to ask families to rate their experience and ask how likely they are to recommend. It’s easy for consumers to answer and produces clean, trackable data. On the surface, it feels like a win-win.

But the reality is more complicated.

When we analyzed tens of thousands of responses, we compared experience ratings (on a 10-point scale) with customer advocacy—measured by likelihood to recommend and reuse the business. The results revealed a stark truth.

Families who rated their experience a 10 out of 10 were advocates 88% of the time. That’s extraordinary performance. But a rating of 9, which most organizations would celebrate, saw advocacy drop by nearly half. And when ratings fell to 7 or below, advocacy virtually disappeared.

In other words, advocacy doesn’t decline gradually—it falls off a cliff.

If you operate in a rural market with little competition, a “good” experience may still sustain your business. But for most operators today, good is no longer good enough. Average experiences lead to fewer recommendations, lower retention, and increased pressure to replace lost volume with costly new leads.

Ultimately, when you’re not listening closely to customer feedback:

• You’re guessing whether your processes actually drive advocacy
• You’re missing opportunities for referrals
• You’re losing revenue when problems go unresolved

THE POWER OF RECOVERY — TURNING PROBLEMS INTO PROMOTERS

No organization is perfect. Problems happen. What separates top-performing firms from the rest is how they respond when they do.

Our data shows that fewer than half of customer issues are ever fully resolved. That’s a troubling statistic. But here’s the opportunity: when problems are resolved effectively, advocacy rebounds significantly—often exceeding that of customers whose issues were never addressed at all.

The key is speed and intent. Businesses that actively monitor customer feedback can identify dissatisfied families in real time and respond before frustration turns into a negative review or lost relationship. At the same time, those same insights allow organizations to identify their happiest families and make it easy for them to share their positive experiences online.

This isn’t about blindly chasing reviews. It’s about using data to understand:

• Which customers to encourage
• When to intervene
• How to recover trust in the moment it matters most

When you do those three things to deliver world-class service to our families, the positive reviews write themselves. Handled correctly, service recovery isn’t just damage control—it’s a powerful advocacy-building tool.

THE LOST VOICE — WHAT NON-CUSTOMERS REVEAL ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS

When we talk about “listening to the customer,” we usually mean the person who sat in the arrangement room, signed the contract, and paid the bill. But that perspective tells only part of the story.

How many times are there other family members giving input into final arrangements? While their names may not be on the contract, they have opinions, feedback, and could be candidates for pre-need business. The most insightful organizations listen to voices beyond the traditional customer—what we call customer-adjacent audiences. These groups often reveal blind spots that satisfied customers never surface.

Three groups stand out: 

• Secondary Arrangers: Family members involved in arrangements but not the primary signer
• Escaped Shoppers: Families who met with you but chose not to purchase
• Attendees: People who experienced your services without being decision-makers These individuals are not biased by the need to justify a purchase decision. Their feedback often exposes gaps in communication, education, and perception that directly affect consideration and conversion.

Nowhere is this more evident than in consumer education. 

Nearly 75% of funeral professionals believe they adequately educate families about products and services. Only 35% of consumers agree.

The gap widens further when we look at specific offerings. For example, 79% of professionals believe families are aware of keepsakes, jewelry, stones, and memorial options. In reality, only 46% of consumers say they know these options exist.

This disconnect helps explain why trust can be fragile. A lack of education leaves families uncertain—and uncertainty erodes confidence. Importantly, if you’re not collecting email addresses and phone numbers from these customer-adjacent audiences, you’ll never give yourself the opportunity to learn more.

Training matters. Listening matters. And reinforcing key messages before, during, and after the arrangement process drives both trust and revenue. 

SUMMARY: TURNING DATA INTO ACTION 

Customer insights provide direction. They tell you how families find you, what they valued, who they compared you to, and why some chose another provider. Just as importantly, data reveals patterns beyond what families explicitly say.

Data plus analysis equals clarity. 

Sometimes the results confirm our instincts. More often, they challenge assumptions we didn’t realize we were making. What we’ve learned from listening to tens of thousands of consumers is clear: top-performing firms aren’t guessing. They’re measuring, analyzing, and acting on the voice of the customer to shape how they do business.

If you’re not measuring, you’re missing opportunities. And if you’re only listening to the voices you expect to hear, you’re missing the ones that matter most.

The future belongs to organizations willing to listen—differently.