EVERY FAMILY, EVERY TIME? Why Cremation Families Need Something Different

It seems clear, through both experience and research, that cremation families want specific, unique, different things. So the question we have to answer is this: do we accommodate, or do we keep on with business as usual? The purpose of this article is to look at the ways cremation families differ from casketed burial families and to ask, “How can our operations treat these families the way they actually want to be treated?”

To do that, I have to simplify. I’ll refer throughout to “cremation families” and “burial” or “traditional” or “casketed-burial” families. I have to acknowledge that this is an oversimplification, but the larger conversation about cremation versus burial is for another article. For this one, these two categories are enough to make the point.

So, how do we treat cremation families the way they want to be treated? I’ll focus on four concrete shifts. First, meet families where they are by communicating through text (sometimes). Second, treat convenience as a form of care, letting families handle what they can from home and bringing the rest to their door. Third, extend our care beyond the ashes into the hard aftermath of a death: the probate, the accounts, the estate. And fourth, put our pricing and our process fully in the open. You might object that every family deserves these things, and you’d be right. But each one lands with a force for the cremation consumer that it simply doesn’t carry for the traditional consumer.

TEXTING: COMMUNICATE THE WAY THEY COMMUNICATE

Have you ever texted with a business, likely a service brand, maybe an auto-repair shop, or a hotel? Not an automated response or an AI helper, but a real person. If done properly, you solve your problem from your couch or your desk, the same way you talk to friends and family.

Simple and convenient. I am in no way advocating for the abolishment of phone calls and in-person conversations. I believe there is an appropriate way to communicate via text that enhances the cremation consumer’s experience with your brand.

I think we can all agree that grief can make phone calls difficult. People can answer a text when they’re composed and on their own time. Families can reach out at midnight when they don’t need an urgent answer. Texting in a funeral home is best done for non-urgent situations. When the death certificate is filed. Asking a simple question regarding a misspelling in the obituary. Sending invoice or e-signature links. Every proactive text is an anxious inbound call you didn’t have to field. Texting allows you to notify and confirm quickly and clearly when a phone call isn’t necessary or when the call goes to voicemail, as it usually does.

CONVENIENCE: CREATE MORE HOMEWORK THAN FUNERAL HOME WORK

The convenience economy is in full swing, and it’s everywhere: Amazon, Uber, DoorDash. Many families, we know, have chosen cremation not because they don’t want a service but because they want simplicity. The perception is that cremation is simple; traditional funerals are not. Part of this means that cremation consumers want to avoid the funeral home environment. Going to a building full of caskets, chapels, and a sales office is the exact experience that they thought they opted out of.

What do we do about this? The convenience economy does what Amazon, Uber, and DoorDash do. They meet you on your turf. We can order all of these things on our phone, when we want them, right to our doorstep. The goal is not to keep cremation families out of our office. The goal is for cremation families to feel like we’ve made their lives easier, not more stressful.

This means allowing families to complete forms and documents at home before coming in, saving them time during the arrangement conference. It could look like offering personal delivery of the cremated remains back home at no charge to the family. And of course, allowing them to communicate with you via text rather than requiring phone calls or emails. You see, all of these things may prick your traditional side to think cheap, undignified, impersonal, but you would be wrong. The cremation consumer values convenience over almost everything else and actually equates convenience to quality service.

BEYOND THE CREMATION: PROVIDE SERVICES BEYOND TRADITIONAL AFTERCARE

We are the experts in death. Or at least we should be. Being an expert comes with great responsibility. Families, in general, expect us to know everything there is to know about all things end-of-life. We get questions about veteran benefits, probate, Social Security, and closing of accounts. Families often struggle to figure these things out on their own. Fortunately for us, there are now more companies than ever coming into deathcare that specialize in helping families through these processes. Cremation families think they are signing up for simplicity, but all families dealing with a death face these same obstacles.

The reason help beyond the cremation is important now more than ever, because direct cremation is on the rise. It’s harder to create goodwill and trust with a direct cremation family than with any other family. By offering these additional services, you prove your worth to them as the experts in death. You create loyalty to your firm because you’ve gone above and beyond the call of duty. You give resources to help, not to get anything in return. All of this works to build your reputation, grow your online reviews, and create fans instead of purchasers.

What does this look like? This can be as simple as providing checklists, giving referrals to local probate/estate attorneys and financial advisors, and providing lists of contact information for government agencies. If you want to go the extra mile, create a real partnership with local businesses that can provide these services to families, or even hire or designate someone on your team to be the expert in all things “after the service”.

In our experience, families are often shocked at the level of service that comes after the cremation when they thought they would be left to figure things out on their own.

TRANSPARENCY: TRUST HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT 

Most funeral homes don’t show pricing online because they fear that families will see it and run away. What’s interesting is that the research shows the exact opposite. In a 2022 consumer study from Foresight and Fortitude, lack of up-front pricing was listed only 5 percentage points lower than making a mistake with your loved one when consumers were asked what would cause them to never use a funeral home again. In that same study, it was found that 50% of people claim that they will only do business with companies that provide transparency. What does transparency mean to these consumers? 45% say listing clear pricing with no hidden fees. If I could go further, the study the next year in 2023 found that 71% say they would not do business with companies that did not provide pricing online. Transparency is not limited to pricing, but is certainly not less than pricing.

So what can we do? Funeral pricing can be complex, and there are so many decisions. How can we possibly put pricing online? My simple answer is to create your most popular 3-5 packages and show them on your website with a “starting at” or a range of prices. The expectation is not that you get it right down to the cent. The goal is to show something and to show something that is understandable. This means more than a PDF or a link to your GPL.

We should stop asking, “How many families will choose another funeral home if I show pricing?” and start asking, “How many families are never calling me because I refuse to show them pricing?” The number of calls you’re losing due to fear is likely higher than the amount you would ever lose by showing pricing.

CONCLUSION

So we come back to where we started. “Every family, every time” sounds like a commitment to service, but it can quietly become a commitment to doing things our way. The cremation family is telling us that they want a new way of doing things. Most cremation talk is only about how to get cremation families to have services and use a cemetery. The solution to that problem begins not with a better sales pitch or newer facilities, but with how we treat them.

None of this is harder than what we already do. It is mostly a matter of deciding that the family’s preferences outrank our habits. The firms that figure this out will not just serve cremation families. They will be chosen by them, again and again, and recommended to everyone those families know. The question was never whether we can accommodate. It is whether we are willing to.